So you know, nothing in your “winery-themed” kitchen actually looks anything like a winery. Wineries don’t need valances or wallpaper borders with wine bottles all over them; they have the ACTUAL BOTTLES.

I hear people say things like “Our new house is 4000 square feet and it feels just right” and am confused. Just right for what, exactly? Opening a brothel? Sheltering orphans a la “Jem and the Holograms”?

Certain questions arise while watching “Meet Me in St. Louis.” Like – how does one dance the hoochie koochie? And what does being someone’s tootsie wootsie involve?

Sure, calling them “denim leggings with pockets” doesn’t sound all that sexy. But wearing “skinny jeans” doesn’t make you LOOK all that sexy either.